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Keeping the Marriage & Family STRONG Dr. Judy B. Jacobs chose counseling because she believed it to be her calling and she has a passion for helping people to become whole again mentally and spiritually. She sees clients from her second floor office at 1320 Central Park Boulevard. From the moment they set foot into her space, they are free. There are no inhibitions. They can open up and disclose the deep things on their hearts or work together as families and spouses to understand and appreciate one another. Her job is simply to listen to them, help them to hear one another and themselves and to promote love and growth. Fredericksburg Parent and Family magazine had the privilege of speaking with Dr. Jacobs on what it takes to create a strong family. Why Counseling? What was it that drew you into the field? Dr. Jacobs: We all have been called to do something in this life from the time of birth. My call is to minister to people. As a former high school counselor in Hawaii where I counseled that helping families heal would bring wholeness to the family. Jeremiah 29:11 states, "for I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil to give you a future and a hope." young girls, I understood What is the biggest myth about counseling? DJ: Of the many myths there are about counseling, one of the most common that I hear counseling is for weak or sick people. The truth is counseling can help bring out strengths that may have been suppressed by fear and an irrational belief system. This strength may have been masked by some type of addiction, depression, et cetera. is that 12 Fredericksburg Parent and Family • September 2012 How can counseling help in the development of a strong marriage? DJ: It is so important to know who you are as an individual. We enter into relationships thinking that love is enough when we're actually entering just the first stage, which is the "Enchantment Stage." Once this stage is over, we move into what Dr. Tim Clinton of the American Association of Christian Counselors defines as " . . . the things I once loved now becomes the things that I now hate!" Dissatisfaction in the relationship can occur when there are spiritual attacks, stress, speed, expectations or scripts. "Angry Cycle," This dissatisfaction could one to feel unloved, not valuable, understanding emotional triggers while learning how to embrace the love language of each other. Seeking to develop their love maps will assist greatly navigating through the seasons in their relationship, who we are as a person. Marital counseling can help the couple to effectively communicate by in which at this point could consequently cause walls to built. A strong marriage can develop when we understand withdrawn and lead to the cause