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family values the pressures to keep up with the global culture we now have access to. "Pressure on children to achieve is rampant," they comment. The Lucy Daniels Center for Early Childhood, says, "Perfectionism is individualistic. It is part of the complex way a particular child thinks about his or her relationships, desires, imaginings, moral qualities and experiences. Perfectionist tendencies for an older preschooler or school-age child will be intertwined with different aspects of that child. This understanding of perfectionism helps explain one of its perplexing aspects: A child is usually a perfectionist only in some areas. This would be unexplainable if perfectionism were a trait. But since each one of a child's qualities has a different purpose and function within his or her own complex psychology, perfectionist qualities appear in some areas and not others." (www.carolinaparent.com/articlemain. php?how-Do-I-help-a-young-Perfectionist-892) This is why it does not appear in many children until they reach school where pressures and expectations are placed on them. It then surfaces in places parents were previously not aware of. What is Perfectionism? The main characteristics of a perfectionist are: setting high performance standards that can't possibly be attained; motivated by fear of failure rather than applying their skills toward success; self- worth is based on accomplishments; perfection is key, anything less than perfection is not good enough; expects to always be successful therefore does not enjoy when success is attained; procrastinates on work that will be judged; and work must always be perfect so they will re-do a project several times, no matter how long it takes, to achieve perfection. other signs include: unwillingness to volunteer answers to questions unless certain of the correct answer and overly emotional and "catastrophic" reaction to minor failures. (www.voices.yahoo.com/how-parent- perfectionist-672699.html) Perfectionism takes a toll on health. Illnesses prevalent in perfectionist kids include headaches, migraines, eating disorders, anxiety and depression. There is a thin line between a high achiever and a perfectionist. True perfectionists strive to be the highest of achievers, but their efforts are halted and blocked by the irrational expectations of error free performance, of being the best always, of knowing how to do all things perfectly and never being satisfied with their results. yet, the highest price is paid by these children: they never discover the real secret of life, learning to handle mistakes and growing from them. Through mistakes humans learn to be creative, forgiving, persistent and even passionate to achieve. Mistakes are the tools of learning. Children need to look at failure and see a "try again" sign, what they did, simply did not work, www.fredericksburgparent.nET 21