family values
Parenting Perfectionist Children continued from pg 21
but it is not the end of other choices. It is a chance to creatively try another approach. Parents need to watch for signs of perfectionist tendencies and reinforce effort and excellence, not perfection. If a child is frozen by perfectionist ideals professional help may be warranted, but reinforcing unconditional love, regardless of their achievements, is a great place to start. Teach that mistakes are simply "mis" "takes," like in movie productions when the producer yells "take one, two, three" and scenes
are shot many times. These are chances for actors to do it over and apply different approaches to the same bits of information. or, see mistakes as "try again" signs. This will help children to reframe their ideals and expectations; learning to handle mistakes and succeeding because of them. Give your children permission to be imperfect. you are going to need the same grace as their parents.
Elaine Stone, mother of three, lives in Spotsylvania.
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