Fredericksburg Parent

August 2012

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family values Beyond the Nest BY ELAINE STONE had dreaded, I was leaving him at col- lege. He was waving with exaggerated gestures and I was giving way to a full out cry. After eighteen years of nurturing and caring A s tears welled in my eyes, his were bright with anticipation. The rearview mirror proved what I would I survive all the moments between our connections? The good news is...I did. The better news...he thrived. The best news....we are still connected. Staying connected is key to growing for his every moment, how Phones. There is nothing quite like hearing someone's voice when physical proximity is impossible. The tenor carries a host of memories, feelings and connections. A parent's voice sends love, security, value and stability from a distance. Phones are great tools, yet their overuse can cause concern. Students do not have unlimited time to sit and chat or receive calls for every whim of the parent. Calls should be limited to a conve- nient time and limited to the students schedule. your relationship beyond the nest. Every relationship must have connection points to grow. Building an adult relationship with children takes time and initiative. Fortunately today, there are more ways than ever to stay connected. Jim Burns, Ph.D., writes, "A recent study from the Barna Group indicated that today, par- ents are just as dependent upon tech- nology as their children. Parents spend almost as much time as their kids using technology devices. More importantly, most parents believe that technology has been a positive influence on their fami- lies. And so, most parents should find it easy to utilize today's technologies as helpful their kids who are away at college." Key to connecting is figuring out which way your tools in staying connected with weekly calls, more frequent calls, or email. Over time, a pattern will be established, but starting with a discussed by all beginning. Imperative; be flexible. College students often have meetings that are not scheduled as class time and your student's availability is not always imme- diate. Figuring out "how" to communicate is most important, the "when" will be worked out. Important to note; different types of communication should be used for different messages. parties, is a great plan, 20 Fredericksburg Parent and Family • August 2012 child likes to communicate: text unanswered, don't take it personal, they will get back to you. Provide them the opportunity to be independent and learn to delineate their priorities. Texting ahead of time to set up a phone call is a great way to ensure it is well received. If calls go Texting. Texting is not for long drawn out conversa- tions. It is for short "I love you," "Thinking about you," or "Go Slaughter that Exam." Use it for quick questions that can't wait until phone time. Try your best not to text every time thoughts of your child have work to do, people to see and places to go. They are surface. They world. Constant contact will sincerely stifle their inde- pendence. Some children learning to order their tell you so and others will hurt your feelings responding. Yet, don't take silence as a shunning. In the modern texting world, it is proper etiquette to respond to a text at your convenience, not as soon as it is received. The younger generation is not offended nor does it mean to offend with lagging responses. will be unable to by not sensitive Smiley Faces and Their Meaning A smiley face -- often called a smiley or emoticon -- is used in text message and online chat communications to convey an emotion. Smiley faces are used in the same way that a person's voice or facial expres- sion changes when having a face-to-face conversation with someone. Here are few examples of smi- ley faces and their meanings: :) :( :P :-x :-> :'-) ;) :-! :-D Standard smile Sad or frown smile Sticking tongue out (raspberry) Kiss on the lips Big grin happy Happy Crying Winking smile "Foot in mouth" laughter (((H))) Hugs

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