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family values There is nothing more invigorating than a letter in the mailbox at college. Email. Email is for longer discussions, updating on life "back at the ranch" and for information that does not need immediate response. The younger set at col- lege will have lots of email to wade through because colleges communicate online. Your student will have email from professors, student housing, student life and others every day. Your email will be one among many which he will have to read, synthesize and give response. Don't expect or demand immediate answers. Facebook. If you have an account and your child is willing to "friend" you, Facebook can be a public way of connection. Remember, Facebook is never a place to write personal messages or air new information. It is a public place seen by all of your child's friends and associates. But, the jewel of this tool is by far the photos! Posting photos (or sending via phone) gives your child an eye into the latest happenings. The same holds true for the photos on her page. Warning: Don't ever assume you know the whole story by read- ing Facebook posts or seeing pictures. Facebook is an incomplete view of their world; just snippets without context. Yet, it provides connection points. Handwritten Notes. There is nothing more invigorating than a letter needed most. Remember, it is always nice when the card includes a five-dollar bill, Starbucks card, or and off-campus food gift card. when reassurance Most days, students only find college communications in that box. But, finding a card or letter from home is the best. It can be read, reread and kept for times and support are Online Video Chats. (Skype, phones, videochats) What fantastic technology. Being able to see your student and talk "face-to-face" is a privilege once dreamed of. Most host sites are free and cameras for the computer are cheap. Watching children act and react while conversing brings comfort and reassurance as to their well being and vice versa. Plus, it can be used for fun connections; getting their approval on a dress, viewing their latest project (especially if you have an art major), seeing their beloved pets left at home or viewing their decorated dorm room. Again, set up a Skype time. Don't assume it is always an option. Care Packages. This is possibly the most thrilling. A few treats from home arriving at school is a very tangible way to "reach out and touch someone!" It really doesn't matter what is inside, getting a pack- age is a gift unto itself. Memories of care packages surpass time. After you have long forgotten, they will remember. Consider including something for your child's roommate, as well. It cannot hurt the room- mate relations. in the mailbox at college. Visits. There is no means of communication that surpasses time spent together. Shared experiences are the strongest of all connections. Make a time to visit your student during the semester. Once or twice is all that time will probably allow, but making the effort to be part of their world is priceless. Yes, they can possibly come home for a weekend, but taking the time to travel to them signals their importance and your commitment to the relationship. They are bound to get weary of studies and a visit from home may be just the boost they need to thrive till the end of the semester. Resolve to stay connected and commit to finding the best ways and means, which will probably be a powerful combination of all of the above. They may be beyond the nest, but they are not out of reach. Elaine Stone, mother of three, lives in Spotsylvania. their Potential Reaching Potentials, Inc. 540-368-8087 • www.reachingpotentials.org 1602 William St. • Fredericksburg, VA 22401 www.fredericksburgparent.NET 21