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16 Fredericksburg Parent and Family • September 2015 Help From Our Friends continued from pg 13 The Sibling The Harris family faced the unthinkable in February 2009 when, at just 5-years- old, their son Carter was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor; he died in December 2009 at age 6. During that time, his younger sister, Caroline, witnessed his battle and his death. Caroline, just two years younger, idol- ized her big brother. Mom, Courtney, says that it was only through the help of family and friends that they were able to normalize the experience for Caroline. Harris says Caroline understood the sever- ity of Carter's condition more thoroughly as the holidays approached. Caroline had lost great-grandfathers that year and asked her parents in November if Carter was going to heaven. They told her yes. Harris notes the night Carter died, "Caroline actually woke up, which she never really does. She was there and we talked about how the angels had lifted him up." Though Caroline was cleared by a therapist after Carter's death, Harris knows it haunts her. Whenever family members fall ill, Caroline immediately wonders if they might have can- cer. Caroline is also concerned that she and younger sister Charlotte, born after Carter's death, will never intimately share the special memories of their brother. The relationship that seems to have most alleviated Caroline's anxiety has been with Carter's best friend, Kaelan. The two share similar memories of Carter and have bonded over them. Carter is never far from the family, especially with Caroline to keep his memory alive. The Optimist Lindsay Velez finds an irony that is both shocking and humbling in her daughter Elise's cancer diagno- sis, but one that also reinforces her belief in people's good nature. For years, Lindsay vol- unteered with the Fredericksburg Area Service League, raising money for some of the same organizations that her family now relies upon for help with Elise's cancer. She helped raise funds, worked at a bereavement camp, and donated money to the Fairy Godmother Project. She says, "Now, here we are on the other side." Explaining cancer to Elise's friends and classmates has been challenging. Velez says, "They wonder if they can catch it and how she got it." She says it's confusing for Elise, "Just imagine a 9-year-old try- ing to understand, 'I have can- cer.'" Elise's younger brother struggles to understand Elise's battle, as well. In his young mind, he feels overlooked when Elise gets presents and atten- tion, and he doesn't comprehend what it means to have an illness like Elise's. Through it all, Velez describes Elise as a happy, active child who has chosen optimism. She recalls, "Even the other day, Elise said 'Yeah, I have can- cer, and I could be sad, but I'm choosing to be happy.' I think to myself 'Wow, OK, that explains it all.'" Velez says Elise knows her cancer is life- threatening, but that she plays and does as much as she can, which has been a good thing. "Fortunately for us," Velez says, "she's feeling well now that she's off some of the medications. We're in a wait and see period. She knows it hasn't gone away, but that we will keep trying new things. She remains hopeful and ready to fight." How Can You Help? Community organizations such as Fairy Godmother Project, Grace Oughton Foundation, Strong for Dom and Owen Lea Foundation are helping families every day, and they are always seeking volunteers and donations. A.E. Bayne is a writer, visual art- ist, and educator who lives in Fredericksburg, Virginia. She is a monthly columnist with Front Porch Magazine and has contributed to Fredericksburg Parent and The Health Journal. Bayne is an editor at the Fredericksburg Literary Review and writes the educator's blog, The Write Stuff – Virginia. 16 Fredericksburg Parent and Family • September 2015