Issue link: https://fredparent.uberflip.com/i/1433697
www.FredericksburgParent.NET 11 K RI S T I Illustration by Suzanne Johnson KRISTI SAYS: Online bullying is a terrible thing. It causes so much damage that can take years to reverse. Kids hide behind their screens writing the most horrific things and, sadly, many get away with it. The good news is that you know it's happening and can do something about it. The bad news is your daughter is hurting and even you are feeling overwhelmed by the situation. It's hard to imagine a world where people would say or do these things to people face- to-face. When I was in junior high school, a group of girls bullied me incessantly. It started when they told me there was a boy who liked me, and it escalated from there. Newsflash, he didn't; the girls had set me up. I remember running to the bathroom in tears just to hide from them—I wanted to die. Then, they went so far as to make death threats against me. When my mom finally figured out what was going on, she contacted the school. Let's just say, after the administration talked with those girls, they never bothered me again. Some of them wouldn't even look at me for fear of what would happen if they were even suspected of being mean to me. Let's call this "picking on" your daughter thing what it is. It's harassment and bullying, and something needs to be done about it. Many schools have policies that penalize students for harassing and bullying other students. And while you say they've given her a "nickname," there is most likely evidence she is the one they're talking about. I know you feel over- whelmed and have no clue what to do, but there are steps you can take to protect your daughter from further psycho- logical harm. If you know the parents of these kids, it might be a good idea to sit down and have a conversation with them. Take your emotions out of it as best as possible and do your best to express that you assume the best of their kids. Realize that kids can get caught up in the moment online without understanding the impact of what they are saying and doing. Then show them the messages. If nothing happens—or the parents get angry at you—take the next steps. Contact the school. Sit down with an administrator and show him or her the messages. Again, do your best to express that you think the kids are good kids, just getting caught up in what the group is doing. If the administrators do nothing about it, the matter could become a police-level issue depending on the severity of the bullying. As a last resort, take your daughter out of school. Send her to a different one or homeschool her, at least for a while. Your daughter's mental health is far more important than staying in the situation and 'muscling' through. Remove access to her social media profiles temporarily while you both seek counseling and a resolution for this abuse. While this sounds harsh, her access to reading these things online can have devastating effects. You have power, mama. You can do the right thing by your daughter, and while you may feel scared of these kids, you have nothing to fear. Your daughter is relying on you to help. Take it one step at a time and do the hard things necessary to protect your daughter from further harm.