Today is my birthday. So far it has been quite uneventful except for me saying, “Guys, it’s my birthday, could you please just do what I ask?!”
Being a single parent doesn’t provide you with much of a celebration unless you do it yourself. That’s kind of a bummer. My ex-husband and I used to plan celebrations for each other. I still help the kids get gifts for their father’s birthday – he doesn’t reciprocate. It’s okay truly. Sometimes I just get fussy.
My friends are wonderful though. They have called and sent lots of texts and Facebook messages. I think I’m just in a funky place this morning. A funky single mom place.
It isn’t like there have ever been wild days of abandon on my birthday, so I don’t know what my deal is. It isn’t even a milestone of a birthday. It’s just 44. No biggie. I guess it’s a bit of loneliness coupled with a desire to get away by myself. How silly is that?
And wishing there were some balloons, presents and streamers. Oh my gosh!!! Am I 5?!?!?!?
Ok, that was embarrassing. I sound like a petulant child.
What’s even sillier is that I had a lovely day with a friend a few days ago. I received a beautiful gift. My sweet 11 year old son made me pancakes this morning. He made quite a mess in the process, but it was so thoughtful of him I didn’t even mind. My little girls drew me pictures and used about 3 rolls of tape wrapping them up so that will probably be a full day’s activity just unwrapping them. My son who is away at college texted me to wish me happy birthday! I’m so blessed that he remembered! That is just awesome! I’m so thankful for my children.
And here I sit quietly typing in my favorite chair, drinking yummy coffee and listening to my three youngest children playing in the family room…and they aren’t even fighting! So maybe I should stop feeling sorry for myself today. I am warm and dry, my pantry is full, my children are safe and happy, and I’ve been blessed with another year.
Maybe I just need to get away for a bit today? Although I kind of want to hang out with my kids too – maybe we could do something this afternoon. Nap anyone?
I’m not sure the nap will happen, but I know that today will be a blessed day and not because it’s my birthday but because every day, no matter how difficult, is a blessing. Those 5 little (and kinda big) people who I love with abandon are the most wonderful presents ever. This house all warm and cozy and cluttered is the best place to be with or without balloons. My kitchen might not be filled with the smell of chocolate cake, but it’s full of food (and even some chocolate) and that is something to celebrate!
So forgive me for inviting you to my pity party…do you mind if we change it a bit? Let’s celebrate together that each day is a gift and that each child is a blessing. Let’s find those things that we can be thankful for even if they aren’t wrapped in pretty paper and decorated with bows!