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www.FredParent.NET 9 Pouches' "Everyone runs the other direction when a baby dies." I remember one nurse came into my hospital room while I was recovering from Zara Beth's stillbirth, and she said nothing about Zara Beth dying. I thought, oh, we're going to pretend nothing happened. " "But there was another nurse who stayed all night in my room with me, the night after our loss. And she did things for me that I didn't know to do for myself. Vicky Niblett, now 40, lost her daughter Zara Beth Niblett at birth in 2007. That experience, along with the sudden loss of her 22-year-old brother in 2005, led her and her mother, Eileen Reichler, 66, to create LLOST (Loss of of Loved ones to Sudden Tragedy) a 501(c)(3) foundation dedicated to healing people in the first 48 hours after sudden loss. Her father and four of her five siblings serve on the board. "We funded it with my brother's life insurance policy," says Niblett. The foundation has helped 57 hospitals in 32 states through their Treasured Memories program. The program sends nurses to bereavement training, and provides supplies to include memory boxes, clothes, cameras, clay for footp/foot prints, and other mementos. "When Zara Beth died, at first I didn't want to hold her or take footprints. But my nurse, Tammy Ruiz Ziegler, the perinatal bereavement coordinator at MWH, talked me through those feelings. The first time I saw Zara Beth she was wrapped in a beautiful blanket and dressed in a complete outfit from our memory box." After a few months, I realized what a gift that memory box was. What else do I have that shows she was real, that she existed. My kids know their sister was real through that box." community corner WRITTEN BY LEIGH ANNE VAN DOREN LLOST The foundation also runs a program called "Grieving: Handle with Care" to support those who are grieving, as well as educate people on how to help friends and family suffering from sudden loss. The program has distributed over 50,000 "Grieving: Handle with Care" lapel pins worldwide. "We found LLOST's information on what to say and not say to grieving parents through Julie Brosnan, our sales representative here at Fredericksburg Parent, after she lost Gwendolyn (Gwen) in her fourth month of pregnancy. We were all so sad and really had no idea how to help Julie, or what exactly to say the first time she came back to a meet- ing," says Leigh Anne Van Doren, publisher of Fredericksburg Parent and Family. "After her loss, Julie located the LLOST Foundation and showed us some of their materi- als. We've since changed our prenatal and baby elet- ter unsubscribe button to say, "If you are unsubscrib- ing due to loss, support can be found at the LLOST Foundation, www.llost.org." "One of the first things I did was unsubscribe to all of the baby emails for Gwen," says Brosnan. "And I was so angry each time another email came. It's not rational really. I also was surprised at how angry I became if people called her Gwendolyn, not Gwen. I wanted them to say her name, and I also wanted them to say it correctly." October is Infant Loss month. On October 1, the LLOST Foundation will hold their annual "Healing Hearts Walk to Remember" at Old Mill Park, starting at noon. "It is hard to keep memory boxes or lapel pins in stock due to the demand," says Niblett. "We rely on the $4,000 raised at the Walk to keep supplies on hand." For a complete list of do's and don'ts for helping the bereaved, go to www.llost.org. community corner Loss of Loved Ones to Sudden Tragedy photo by VC Photography Books about Pregnancy and Infant Loss A Guide For Fathers: When A Baby Dies, by Tim Nelson An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination: A Memoir, writ- ten by Elizabeth McCracken. This touching story written after the author lost her first baby in the 9th month of her pregnancy. This book is deeply moving and will have you not wanting to put it down. Companioning at a Time of Perinatal Loss: A Guide for Nurses, Physicians, Social Workers, Chaplains and Other Bedside Caregivers, by RN, Jane Heustis, et al Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby, written by Deborah Davis. This book covers things from immediately after the loss all the way to being preg- nant after a loss. This book has many quotes form various families that have lost children (pregnancy loss and stillborns) and various topics, such as the differences in how woman and men grieve, are covered. I Never Held You: A book about miscarriage, healing, and recovery, by Ellen M. DuBois For a complete list, go to llost.org/resources Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby, written by Deborah Davis. This book covers things from immediately after the loss all the way to being preg- nant after a loss. This book has many quotes form various families that have lost children (pregnancy loss and stillborns) and various topics,