Issue link: https://fredparent.uberflip.com/i/81269
family values HERE IS THE SCENARIO: My daughter teaches tennis camps. All summer she invests in young lives encouraging their tennis skills and attitudes. When her students achieve a measure of success -- connecting with the ball or getting it over the net for the first time -- she watches them look up to their parents sitting on the sidelines for approval. She said, "It happens every time. They look to their parents no matter what I say. Yet, far too often, parents are not paying attention; heads down texting, talking to someone on the phone or on their laptops. I watch the child's delighted smiles fade, and often, heads drop." The one person in the room that mattered most, missed it; busy with their own agenda. She continued, "Mom, I remember how important it was for me to get a thumbs up or huge smile when I did something well, especially in sports. It validated me." As parents, we sit for two or three hours in the same room with our child, yet our faces are buried in technology. We need to be where our butt is for our children. SOME SIMPLE SOLUTIONS: Balance is key. Learn to manage technology, not let it manage you. The people we are with deserve our time and attention. They need connections and we need them, too, for a healthy relationship. If you need to work or make a few calls during your child's activity, let them know that the first and last twenty minutes you will give your undivided attention. Don't answer the phone or text during that time. Sit out of their view the rest of the time so they will not expect your approval. Or, have technology-free times during meals or sporting events. Times where you are connecting with each other without interruptions. It used to be that travel time was great together time; no phones, no iPods, no in-car movies. Perhaps, that was a much healthier approach to growing relationships. I recall family car songs and games and simple conversation, which in retrospect, built bonds in the moment communicating with the ones we were with. It is likely that where you find yourself physically is the most important place for you to be. We can only be in one place at a time. Decisions were made that placed us there, validating its importance. We cannot allow technology to rob relationships of our presence. We are our children, who need our frequent approval and connection. Our priceless. It is a small price to pay for a happy healthy child. Parents, "Be Where Your Butt Is!" Maybe a sensitive 21-year-old can teach a little more than just tennis. Elaine Stone, mother of three, lives in Spotsylvania. important to the ones we love, especially winks, smiles and attention are their Potential Reaching Potentials, Inc. 540-368-8087 • www.reachingpotentials.org 1602 William St. • Fredericksburg, VA 22401 www.fredericksburgparent.NET 27