www.FredParent.NET • 21
growth. Let him know
that you're not angry
if he's trying hard and
not doing well. It's also
OK to partner with the
teachers. Ask them how
you can help, and then
work out an agreement
with your child so that
both of you are working
together on the
problem. Not only are
you teaching your child
the content, but you're
helping him learn how
to deal with similar situations that are sure to arise later
on in life—in college or in the workplace—in a healthy,
productive manner.
It's diffi cult to watch your child
fail, and it's even harder to watch
your child suffer diffi cult people
(teachers, bosses, administrators or roommates can
be mean, unfair and just plain wrong), but the more
parents micromanage and solve something that a
child can easily solve on his own, the more helpless,
anxious and prone to risky behavior they may become
later in life. Instead, try to be more of a "submarine"
parent: someone who out of sight and unobtrusive, but
who can rise to the surface when support is needed.
Not only will your teenager appreciate it (hopefully
strengthening your relationship), but it will teach them
how to be strong, creative and independent. And that's
something everybody wants!
* from "The Importance of Self-Advocacy For
Kids With Learning and Attention Issues,"
by Andrew M.I. Lee
While shyness and
introversion are
understandable natural
personality traits, the
ability to advocate for
one's self is also a natural
progression of maturity.
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