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18 Fredericksburg Parent and Family • September 2016 Identifying the Problem According to suicide.org, suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24 and dosomething.org states that 1 in 65,000 children ages 10 through 14 commit suicide each year. As a population, 20 percent of teens experience depression before they reach adulthood, and between 10 to 15 percent suffer from symptoms at one time. And while not all depression ends in suicide, adolescent depression is increasing at an alarming rate. Melanie Cardone, a suicide prevention educator with Mental Health America of Fredericksburg, advises parents to learn the signs between sadness and depression, which are often confused and sometimes dis- missed as teen moodiness. "Sadness is for the moment. Everybody gets sad. Depression is more long lasting. Look for change. If you see change in your child—they're becoming easily irritated, have difficulty getting out of bed or have changes in sleeping habits, they may eat more or less, or lose interest in activities they were interested in prior to—take notice of that," she says. According to Mental Health America's website, sometimes, despite every- one's best efforts, teens become depressed. Factors that contribute to teen depression may have ties to an imbalance in brain chemistry, a family history of depression, death or divorce or side effects of prescriptions. If you suspect that your child is feeling depressed, talk to them. Teen Depression and Suicide Know the Signs, Ask the Questions WrIttEn By chris jones Opening the Lines of Communication Some parents let Facebook ask the question, "What's on your mind?" instead of engaging with their teens. Cardone understands that opening dialogue with a teen can be challeng- ing, but she encourages persevering and having meaningful talks with your child. She advises using any of your available time to enter into discussions with your child about what's going on in their lives and what may be bothering them. She warns, though, that parents need to listen and not look to fix problems. "Sometimes parents rush too quickly to solve problems, but it's best to engage the child and ask them what they think will work or what's helpful in a situation. We have to teach them how to cope," Cardone says. "And we have to always make time for them. Let them know that you're available to talk. A good place is in the car. We're in the car a lot with the kids and its relaxed and you can talk," she says. Stacey Freedenthal, PhD, LCSW, a Denver-based psycho- therapist and social work professor at the University of Denver, agrees with Cardone. For parents to gain the con- fidence of their teens, they have to be open to listening to things that may be uncomfortable for them to hear. In her private practice where she sees and treats teens dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts, she says the number one reason teens clam up is fear of being misunderstood. "the biggest reason that teens give me for not talking to their parents about their suicidal thoughts is a conviction that their parents will 'freak out.' While extreme fear, sad- ness, and concern (what teens might call 'freaking out') are natural responses for parents who learn that their child wants to end their life, teens need to know that they are safe, even welcome, to share their innermost thoughts about this most important topic," she says. An A/B honor roll student and a freshman volleyball player, Dejah jones hid her depression behind a glowing smile. Whatever talks around the dinner table that she had with her family never touched on the difficulties she was having at school with other students. And on April 16, the 14-year-old with the infectious smile—whose parents described her as happy, full of life, hope, ambition and dreams—committed suicide. Her father, Lamont Jones, and grandmother, Brenda talton, now see the connection between bullying and Deja's depression and eventual suicide. "You have to talk to your parents," says Lamont jones. "You got to go to people you love, you got to trust them whether you think they would understand or not, but you got to talk. That is the key."