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48 Fredericksburg Parent and Family • July 2016 Research shows that parents are the best resource for information when it comes to teaching children about the birds and the bees, but knowing just when and how to approach the subject can be difficult. When it comes to having "the talk," it should be done often rather than saving it for one big discussion when you think your child is ready. "The earlier the better," says Dr. Roxanne Allegretti with Kids Pediatrics of Stafford about when to start conversations about sex. "You want to answer all the questions that your kids have. You don't have to go into tons of detail, but you want them to feel comfortable to talk to you so that they will come talk to you when they need to." Here is a breakdown of what to say and when. ages & stages how to deliver "The TALK" WRITTEN BY BRANDY CENTOLANZA Toddlers At this age, "children start to discover themselves, and their private areas," explains Dr. Verne Rochford with Generations of Children Pediatrics in Fredericksburg. They may start to touch themselves in those areas, but "don't be alarmed, or scold them," Rochford says. Instead, now is the time to start teaching them about the proper terms for their private body parts, as well as the meaning of privacy and how no one should touch them in those areas. Preschoolers Preschool children begin to realize gender differences and what makes someone a boy or a girl. Starting an open dialogue that is ongoing and age appropriate is vital. Parents should "look for natural opportunities to start a discussion," says Allegretti. "If someone in the family is having a baby, that might be a good time to bring it up." During this stage, parents should also reiterate the difference between a good touch versus a bad touch. Elementary Keep conversations going by asking and answering any questions children may have dispelling any myths about sex. "You may want to inquire how your child feels about the opposite sex and let that guide you," says Rochford. Use an experience with a character from a television show or someone in the news as a teachable moment. Older elementary children may also begin puberty or notice physical changes in their classmates. Talking to kids about puberty may be uncomfortable, but it's important to respond to any questions in a language children understand and offer to seek the answers to those questions you aren't sure about. toddler & preschool school age They may start to touch "all parents need to give themselves permission to be uncomfortable during these conversations, but push through it anyway" "all parents need to give themselves permission to be