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www.FredParent.NET • • • 13 5. Remind Them That They're Loved. Children of divorce can internalize the fallout and blame themselves for the failed marriage. reminding them that they have two parents who love them and who are concerned for their safety and well-being helps them to adjust to the change. Try reading The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman to discover your child's love language. Being able to communicate love in a way that they internalize it will strengthen your bond no matter if you're the primary care giver or the visiting parent. Chris Jones is a regular contributor at Fredericksburg Parent. He co-parents a 7-year-old son whose love languages are gifts and physical touch. 4. Keep the Peace (as Much as Possible). Find ways to get along in the presence of your children and never co-parent in front of them. And when you're alone with your children, speak no evil against the other parent. it's easy to throw a few jabs under your breath when talking to your children, but beware; in some places, this is viewed as parent alienation. This could be any comment that aims at causing the child to emotionally reject the other parent. experts say: Don't speak poorly about your ex. "Badmouthing the ex will be internalized by the child because they are made up of both you and your ex," says David Pisarra, fathers' rights attorney at MensFamilyLaw. com and author of A Man's Guide To Child Custody. "What you say about the ex is what the child will react to, and also think about themselves." Keep in mind the old schoolyard saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all." When there are two households with differing rules, it becomes an opportunity to play one against the other for their benefit. Rappahannock Area Project Project Project Project Project Project Project Project Project Project Project Project LINK LINK LINK Project LINK Project Project Project LINK Project LINK Project LINK Project Project Project LINK Project We have a vision of a community that empowers women and their families to have healthy lifestyles free of addiction 540-891-3132 www.racsb.state.va.us A program of the Rappahannock Area Community Services Board