Fredericksburg Parent

www.FredericksburgParent.NET 19 CONNECTION BUILDERS MENTORS As Executive Director of Big Brothers Big Sisters Greater Fredericksburg, Sandra Erickson repeatedly sees the difference that a caring, consistent, connected adult relationship can make for a young person. "It's about having someone in their corner who's there to cheer them on. There to listen," Erickson says. BBBS has helped generations of child-mentor partners build con- nected relationships. Erickson said the organization emphasizes five "healing gestures" that can help build connection. Celebrate – Acknowledge achievements large and small. Comfort – Show compassion and listen without judgment. Listen – Show interest in a child's passions. Collaborate – Ask children their opinion. Inspire – Expose children to new opportunities. TEAMS Whether they are athletic, academic or job-related, teams can teach children how to depend on others and be dependable. As a soccer coach for Massaponax High School and Fredericksburg Football Club, Kevin Leahy works to make sure his teams are as connected socially and emotionally as they are on the field. Here are some of his proven strategies: Make them pay attention – After every game, one of Leahy's players must award the team's special hard hat to a "player of the game." While the players have come to love this tradition, Leahy likes it because it requires the players to be present and paying attention throughout the game. "They have to be engaged, and they have to realize it's not about them all the time. I think that really resonates," he says. Make connection a habit – At the start and end of every practice, Leahy builds in time for players to talk about what's on their minds, and what's going on in their lives outside soccer. He also makes a personal goal to connect with two or three players one-on-one every day about how they are doing outside of the sport. By making reflection routine, Leahy is helping his players build the skill of putting words to their emotions in conversation with others. Sponsored Material SCHOOL-AGE KIDS NEED MODELS OF HEALTHY TECH USE Jennifer Bateman, a prevention specialist who works with children from preschool through high school, says she is noticing more and more children who come to preschool without basic social and emo- tional skills, such as how to manage emotions, or how to read facial cues in order to take turns speaking in a conversation. "With a screen, it's 'my turn' all the time," she says. "There is a whole lot that gets lost in translation between a screen and a human-to- human interaction." But Bateman acknowledges that technology is a fact of life for chil- dren in school these days. By middle school, many students are filing most of their assignments digitally, and even the Virginia Standards of Learning tests are taken on screens today. The key for parents, she says, is setting boundaries so that screen time doesn't crowd out in-person interactions at home, and model- ing a healthy relationship with technology. Timers can be a helpful tool, she says. For children, setting a timer within a parental control app such as Apple's Screen Time—or just an external timer in the home—can help avoid meltdowns when the device goes away. For parents, setting a timer on how long you're going to check your work e-mail before giving your full attention to your child can ensure hours don't pass mindlessly. Bateman also recommends designating places in your home or times during your daily routine that everyone understands are screen-free. "So, for example, dinner, or the first 30 minutes after you get home. Take that breath away from screens. Get away, walk, go outside," she says. "The time we spend on screens is not going to give us back even one-tenth of what we need as social people." Learn More Dive into the research on the benefits of connectedness, and learn more strategies to build connectedness at home at rappahannocka- reacsb.org/connectedness "Think of the screen as a candy bar"

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