Fredericksburg Parent

March 2024

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www.FredericksburgParent.NET 25 Beyond its domestic abuse advocacy, Empowerhouse is one of 14 organizations in Virginia selected to be part of a teen domestic violence (TDV) prevention grant. In this program, Empowerhouse resource officers visit area middle and high schools and educate the students on TDV. They help them learn what healthy and unhealthy relationships look like by teaching them the red flags of abusive relationships and by facilitating open communication and con- versations. Because they're reached while in middle and high school, kids learn at a pivotal time how to form healthy relation- ships based on mutual trust and respect. In fact, research shows that schools can make a difference in preventing teen dating vio- lence by adding this sort of program to their curriculum. An astonishing 33% of adolescents in America are victims of sexual, physical, verbal or emo- tional dating abuse. Forty-three percent of college women report experiencing violent and abusive dating behav- iors. Visit the teen resources page at EmpowerhouseVA.org An astonishing 33% of adolescents in America are victims of sexual, physical, verbal or emo- tional dating abuse. Forty-three percent of college women report experiencing violent and abusive dating behav- iors. Visit the teen resources page at EmpowerhouseVA.org OUTREACH OUTREACH EFFORTS FOR TEENS As parents, we sometimes struggle to remember what it felt like at that age—to push the parental bonds, establish new relationships and make your own decisions while at the same time wanting to know your parents are there when needed. We watch our children as they vacillate between fierce independence and child-like neediness. And no doubt, watching them navigate this time can be frustrating, especially with the technology we all carry with us. So what, as a parent, can you do? Talk to them about what healthy rela- tionships should look like and lead by example. If you and your spouse treat each other with respect and trust, your child will learn from that. If your child is in a relationship that you have doubts about, be there for them. "Believe your child if they say they are being victimized," advises Jackie. "Don't brush it off. Help them file police reports, be present with them in court, but also allow your child to make their own decisions on how they want to move forward. Shelby has guidance for parents, too. "Ask your kid if they're ok. Keep ask- ing if they're ok.," she says. "Tell them that you love them and that you're safe. Push through, keep being there, over and over. My parents did that, and they broke through." Shelby is 18 now but her abuse is still fresh. You can feel her pain through the phone. Her voice cracks when speaking. "A small part of me feels like he still owns me," she says. "But I can do everything in my power. I never want to be that girl that feels unsafe. I never want to be that girl again." She pauses and I hear Jackie in the background reassuring her. Then Shelby continues, "I'm not a victim anymore, I'm a survivor." And she is. Shelby currently attends a nearby university and plans to become a lawyer, advocating for domestic abuse victims while practicing criminal and fam- ily law. She's even started a program while in school called RISE, to help young women who are abused. At the end of our conversation, I reconfirm one more time if she wants us to use her real name. She answers yes. "I want to claim my voice, I was told to be silent previously," she says. "My story could help other kids. Others can find justice. I will always be willing to talk about it." HOW TO HELP YOURTEEN Empowerhouse is a Fredericksburg non-profit for the care and support of domestic violence victims and their children.

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