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www.FredericksburgParent.NET 11 E R I K A ERIKA SAYS: I grew up in a large (loud!) family, and even though I was not a particularly quiet child, I was often overwhelmed by the crowd. It was hard to find my voice among so many kids and so many personali- ties. Sometimes, I hesitated to speak up if I had an opinion that differed from everybody else's, because that meant I was different. But if your son hasn't mentioned feeling uncomfort- able, then I wouldn't attach myself to the notion that he is. I find people who are introverted enjoy being that way, and they frequently accumulate more wis- dom by being so good at listening. That said, there are some ways you can encourage your quiet son to chime in from time to time. My parents made us all sit together at dinner in the evenings, no TV, no phones. Mealtime was set aside as an opportunity for my parents to catch up with us, but also for us kids to hang with each other. It never felt like we had to talk, but somehow, my parents ensured we all had a chance to share while everybody else listened. We used to go around the table and share the "pit and peak" of our week. As we shared, everybody chimed in, and the conversation naturally flowed. Family sup- pers like this will give your little one the opportunity to talk about his wins and losses without feeling put on the spot. A few times a month, we would have family game nights, which were always so much fun! Those of us who were old enough to play on their own would go solo, and the littles would get paired with an older sib- ling. I was 16 years older than my youngest sibling, so I didn't have a lot in common with the younger ones. Activities like this gave us a chance to bond, and as the littler boys grew older, game nights gave them a sense of belonging and made interacting with us older siblings feel less intimidating. Regardless of the age gaps in your family, initiating and encouraging family activities where everyone is required to participate eventually becomes a natural occurrence. For us, it actually got to the point that my parents didn't have to orchestrate it—we just did it ourselves! Having a quiet child isn't necessarily a bad thing. As I mentioned before, introverted people often have an innate knack for accruing wisdom and knowledge. Your son may very well be happy and content with the role he plays in your family. Some people thrive in a one-on-one setting, while others prefer group settings, and that's perfectly okay. Having a quiet child isn't necessarily a bad thing.