Fredericksburg Parent

www.FredericksburgParent.NET 19 • Organization. Implement the OHIO (Only Handle It Once) technique. Model where to find/put things in their place when making a recipe (ask—why is that important?) • Cognitive Flexibility. Build in unpredict- ability (change is inevitable, take them to the mall or make their favorite meal. Sometimes change is positive, too!), supply a reward when they are flexible. • Self Monitoring. Ask them to perform a self-check-in. Check their level of emo- tion and suggest how to make a better choice/build healthy coping strategies, ask them what they observed of a situa- tion and how they might adjust or make different choices (role-play scenarios and outcomes). Peer Pressure, Drama and Bullying Adolescence is a tricky time, and since most chil- dren enter into puberty between the ages of 9 and 13, middle school is transitional in more ways than just finding classes and dealing with lockers. "These topics [peer pressure, drama, bullying] are really speaking to our need to belong," says Clark. "Having a sense of belonging is a core trait of our relationships." Most students will notice an immediate uptick in these behaviors upon entering middle school. There will be times when your sixth grader needs your input, as well as times they attempt to resolve issues on their own. "The goal for parents is to become an 'Askable Parent,' a parent your child can approach and who is open to questions," says Clark. "A parent who understands that not every situation or conflict is a crisis or needs to be 'fixed.' A parent who doesn't have all the answers but can help problem solve and find solutions, if needed." Another important measure parents can take is to model what Clark describes as "healthy solutions." "Our children are observing and learning from us more than we think," says Clark. "So, do we need to first do some self-exploration? How do you navigate your friendships? Do you find yourself 'pressured' by your friend group? Do you 'go with the crowd?' Do you allow friends to exclude, iso- late, and hurt you?" A School Counselor's Tips for a Successful First Day 1. Reflect with your child on previous "firsts" and ask them how they got through those experiences? What skills got them through the day? How did they ask for support or receive support? 2. Address your own feelings. Our kids pick up on our feelings—are you anxious? Or in grief that they are growing up "too fast?" Remind yourself you have sur- vived many of their "firsts" and ask yourself how you did that? 3. Start new routines early. Practice getting up earlier, establish where they will go after school, ponder how the evening routine at home may change. Knowing as much as possible before day one gives a sense of stability. 4. Let them personalize or pick their school supplies and clothing. 5. Be curious. Ask your child … what do you think middle school will be like? What emotions do you have (expect mixed as some may be sad summer is ending and happy to see school friends more regularly)? What would make you feel more comfortable? Clark also highly recommends attending orientation to better acquaint your sixth grader with their new surroundings, set up their locker and meet their teachers.

• Cover