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www.FredericksburgParent.NET 17 According to the American Psychological Associa on, resilience is the ability to successfully adapt to difficult or challenging life experiences. It's a key ingredi- ent in mental health, and a lack of resilience has been iden fied as a cause of the mental-health crisis among American youth. The good news is, parents play an enormous role in building resilience among children and simple but inten onal prac ces can go a long way. Posi ve adult rela onships are an important protec ve factor that can help children build resilience, says Lisa Dolan, coordinator of social work services for the Spotsylvania County Public Schools. A good first step, she says, is for adults to make sure they are taking care of their own mental health. Kids do well when adults do well. First and foremost, parents have to take care of their own emo onal needs," Dolan says. START A CONVERSATION TODAY Try these opening lines to talk to your child about resilience: ● "What can you say to yourself when you are having a tough me with a challenging skill or situa on?" ● "Who is your go-to person when things get complicated?" ● "What do you con- sider to be a comfort zone?" talk about: Resilience RACSB child and adolescent therapists Sachiko Jordan and Sherrie Johnson say talking through basic social skills such as how to start a conversa on, how to make friends and how to greet people can help children build the skills to deal with anxiety about social situa ons. Teens can be a tough group to talk to, but they're also apt to tell others that their parents "never listen." Sending a consistent message that you are avail- able to listen to your children's concerns in a way that is approachable for them can help you stay in tune with their mental health. Jordan said she regularly does exercises with teens asking them to name the things they hide from others. "Their No. 1 answer is, 'My true feelings,'" she says. She acknowledges that it can be hard for parents to get teens to open up about their feelings—but it's s ll important to send a consistent message that you are there to listen and support them. It is also helpful to model how you are coping with your own feelings. "Some mes teenagers have great insight, and it's good for parents to share their own emo ons and vulnerability,'" she says. "You can say, 'I am worried about this, but this is how I am coping.'" Jordan also said parents should remember that children express themselves in many ways that are not verbal. "It's very important to be curious about your kids. What kind of music are they listening to, what kinds of shows are they watching?" she says. "Behavior itself is a message." Dolan urges parents to remember that schools have resources for helping children deal with anxiety, and talking to a school counselor can be a good first step if something seems off. "There are people out there who will help them, and they are as close as your school." she says. "