Fredericksburg Parent

34 Fredericksburg Parent and Family • October 2022 WRITTEN BY TANNI HAAS, PH.D. ages & stages How To Tell If Your Kid Might Be A Victim Of Cyberbullying No matter how much and how well you try to protect your kids, there's always the possibility that they'll become the victims of cyberbullying. If that's the case, how do you know if your kids are being cyberbullied? What are the tell-tale warning signs? It's important to know the warning signs as only about 1-in-10 kids tell their parents about being cyberbullied. Dr. Michele Borba, an internation- ally-renowned expert on cyberbullying, says, "Don't expect your child will come and tell you about the harassment. Research says that chances are that your child won't tell which is why you need to tune in closer and get educated." Kids often keep silent because they're ashamed, fear retribution from the bully, and perhaps most surprising to parents, are afraid that their computer and phone access will be restricted or taken away, which they see as an unfair punishment of them rather than the bully. Unlike traditional bully- ing, which often leaves physical marks like bruises or black eyes, cyberbul- lying can often only be identified by certain changes in a kid's behavior. Cyberbullying can occur right in front of parents or in the next room with- out them realizing it. According to Drs. Sameer Hinduja and Justin Patchin of the Cyberbullying Research Center, you can tell if your kids might be the victims of cyber- bullying by paying close attention to their general demeanor and online behavior. Like victims of traditional bullying, kids who are cyberbullied often show signs of depression. They exhibit little interest in the things and activities that used to matter to them the most, tend to withdraw from friends and family, experience sudden changes in their eating and sleeping patterns, and complain of headaches and stomachaches. "Moodiness and mood swings are just part of being [a child]," says Walter Meyer, a well- known cyberbullying expert. "But if a child really changes—becomes with- drawn, stops speaking to friends, etc.—the parents should ask what is going on and not be satisfied with 'nothing' as an answer." Research by the National Crime Prevention Council shows that kids who are cyberbullied often are fearful about going to school, ask to be driven to school rather than take the school bus, skip school when they can get away with it or request permission to leave school early because they feel sick, have trouble focusing and fall behind in their schoolwork and may even experience a significant drop in their grades. This is often precipitated by problems with sleeping, which makes it difficult for them to focus on the schoolwork. While it's important to pay close attention to your kids' general demeanor, pay particularly close attention to their online behavior. Kids who are cyberbullied tend to be unusually secretive about what they're doing online, avoiding conversations with their parents about which sites they're on, who they're talking to and the topics of their conversations. If they're willing to talk to their par- ents about what they're doing online at all, they're likely to get defensive and give vague or dubious-sounding explanations. Kids who are cyberbullied tend to be unusually secre- tive about what they're doing online, who they're talking to and the topics of their conversations.

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