Fredericksburg Parent

6 Fredericksburg Parent and Family • April 2022 parent fredericksburg & family Entrepreneur of the Year PROUD FOUNDING MEMBER ADVERTISING PHONE 540-429-3572 EMAIL leighanne@fredericksburgparent.net CALENDAR & SOCIAL MEDIA E-MAIL webmaster@fredericksburgparent.net EDITORIAL PHONE 540-429-3572 E-MAIL fredparenteditor@gmail.com SNAIL MAIL P.O. Box 7884, F'burg, VA 22404 www.fredericksburgparent.net The publishers reserve the right to reject any advertisement, editorial or listing that does not meet the publication's stan- dards. No part of this magazine may be reproduced with out permission. Listing and advertising rates are available upon request. Every effort has been made to assure the accuracy of the information con- tained herein, however, the publisher cannot guaran- tee such accuracy. Listings and advertisements are subject to typographical errors, ommissions and/or change without notice. For terms and conditions please visit our website at www.fredericksburgparent.net © Copyright 2022 Nurture, Inc. All rights reserved. LIKE facebook.com/ FredericksburgParent SIGN UP www.FredParent.net TWEET twitter.com/fredpar- ent PIN www.pinterest.com/ fredparent FOLLOW @fredparentmagazine WRITTEN BY CHRIS JONES editor's note editor's note Photo by Corey Miller Photography When Parents When Parents Discover Discover They're on the They're on the Spectrum Spectrum PUBLISHER Leigh Anne Van Doren Tabitha & Jamie Nelle's mom EDITOR & WEBMASTER Chris Jones Quincy, Hayden & Olive's dad MEDIA & ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Megan Walsh: Mia, Noelle & Adelaide's mom DESIGN & PRODUCTION Cheryl Carter: Alex, Kate & Jackie's mom CALENDAR & COOL THINGS TO DO ELETTER Caroline Murray: Nate and Brendan's mom EDUCATION & INFANT ELETTERS Debra Caffrey: Aidan's mom SPECIAL EVENTS COORDINATOR Jessica Trask: Cye, Asher and Ragan's mom SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR Mira Dover MARKETING & EVENT INTERN Ragan Trask Three years ago, while in a Reddit thread discussing her favorite show with other fans, my wife was taken aback by the character's behavior and eventually her diagnosis. The character talked, interacted, and struggled in a way she could relate. It turns out the person on the show had adult ADHD. It didn't take long for Elizabeth to take inventory of her own life to realize she spent much of her life possibly misdiagnosed with depression, which for common in girls with ADHD. After consulting her primary care physician and getting tested, it turned out she had ADHD. It's not the form you typically associate with overactive children. Hers is the inattentive form, which causes low energy, weak focus, lack of drive, hyper- focus on specific interests and difficulty doing seemingly routine things. Since being treated, she's come a long way. That Reddit thread improved her life. And with a diagnosis, she was able to understand why certain things are difficult, what her limitations are, why she struggled throughout school, and why parenting seemed harder than it should have been. Neurodiverse people, especially if they are spouses and parents, struggle to navigate life. They're different, they know it, and others pick up on it quickly. Neurotypical spouses can easily become frustrated when a neurodiverse spouse is forgetful, loses things, is late to appointments, mismanages finances, and in some cases, exhibits risky behavior—speeding, gambling, infidelity, substance abuse, etc.—to feel dopamine, a happy hormone that helps them to feel what they per- ceive to be normal. Ask a neurodiverse person and they'll tell you while they've learned to find some benefit to their condition, they'd prefer to not have life be this difficult. Medication intervention levels out but doesn't zero out. In this issue, writer Rhiannon Ellis spoke Barbie Swanson, a mother on the spec- trum who discovered her condition later in life while babysitting children with autism (p. 18). She talks about struggling with parenting and feeling like a bad person while going undiagnosed and having no clue she had autism. It's tough to imagine. And I assume there are many more people like my wife and Barbie feel- ing inadequate as they live with a condition they can't change. Let's remember to be kind. Parents on the spectrum don't need our judgment, they need our friend- ship and support. Let's find a way to give it to them. Is a missing diagnosis affecting your parenting?

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