Issue link: https://fredparent.uberflip.com/i/1456053
www.FredericksburgParent.NET 11 K RI S T I KRISTI SAYS: First of all, the trauma you experienced was not your fault. It wounded you and caused you so much pain and heartache. That type of trauma takes a lot of me and professional help to heal from. Hopefully, raising your daughter in a healthy home will aid you in the healing process. What if instead of fearing she becomes like you in a bad way, you look at all the posi ve ways she could be like you? Your trauma led you to desire a diff erent life for yourself and your children. You chose a good man who treats you and your daughter well, and that is truly something to celebrate! Many women do the opposite and end up in situa ons like the ones they grew up in. That trauma is repeated in their children's lives and the cycle con nues. From the sound of it, that is not the case here. You have developed strength and resilience through the years, so if your daughter is like you, she will be strong, determined and level-headed. She will make great choices in life no ma er what happens to her. She will love others with a fi erce, passionate love that brings her to tears, just like you experienced when you fi rst saw her. We moms experience so many fears. Before I had my fi rst son, I was terrifi ed he would walk in front of a car. I would feel so much panic when he got old enough to walk, especially if we were near cars. When he ran ahead in a parking lot one day, I yelled and raced toward him, in a panic because I was so gripped with fear. My heart was racing and my imagina on was running through all the things that could've happened if he had been hit. I fi nd that when my fears get ahead of me, I need to focus on the things that are true and good in that moment. I also need to make sure the words I speak about my children's lives are posi ve and don't leave me feeling more scared. Flip the script your fears are telling you. Then, fi nd something new to declare over your daughter's life and yours. A declara on is something you want to see in the future. If she is going to be like you, pick the best parts you want her to be. Our words have power. When we say and think certain things enough, we start to believe them and act accordingly. Declare something like this: My daughter is a wonderful gi . I am so thankful for her. Her dad and I are not like my parents. She is in a healthy environment where she will learn how to love others and handle confl ict in a healthy way. She will be like me. She will choose to be around people that li her up and don't tear her down. She will be kind, compassionate, loving, and good. No bad thing will harm her the way I was harmed. Use this declara on when your fears a ack you. As for your own emo onal state, post-partum is a challenging me and can increase depression and anxiety. It's OK to seek out counseling for those issues. There is hope for recovery from trauma with the right approach. Your daughter is truly blessed to have you as her mom. Don't let your fears lead you to believe anything else.