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www.FredericksburgParent.NET 15 Dr. Maya Angelou said: "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." SUPER PARENT Q: What are some baby steps parents can take toward giving their teen more independence? TILLMAN: Be intentional about the kind of responsibilities you want to give to them. Start with something small like cooking a meal, following the rules around social media use. If they do well, then slowly add more. Q: What are some ways parents can show their teens affection and express their love (even when it's not being reciprocated)? And how important is it? TILLMAN: Regardless of whether the child recipro- cates, it is the parent's role to lead by example. Here are ways we make our children feel loved: Make PLAY a priority Listen more, talk less Let go of controlling your child and work on connecting with them Leave Love notes for them Speak "blessings" over them by saying, "There is greatness in you" Hug and cuddle often, even when they "act" like they don't want you to. Draw closer to them by getting into "their world" Finally, one of the six basic human needs is significance. Therefore, find ways to place 5 fingerprints into the souls of your children. Make sure they feel: 1. Valued 2. Accepted 3. Capable 4. Forgiven 5. Protected TILLMAN: Parents must begin establishing trust with their children early. Make sure you own your part by building an open relationship with your children. Rules without relationship only lead to rebellion, and correction without connection leads to chaos. Respond instead of reacting, be honest and keep your promises that way children will learn to trust you. Be consistent and always share your heart. Try hard not to parent from the mountaintop. Often, we can learn more from our children than we think if we only allow them to have a safe space to voice their opinions. Q: Most parents of teens hope they can be the kind of mom or dad that their kid can turn to. How can parents establish trust with their teen, so their child knows it's safe to share what's going on in their and their friend's lives? "...it is the parent's role to lead by example." continued on pg 17 Your TEEN on How to