Issue link: https://fredparent.uberflip.com/i/1417700
20 Fredericksburg Parent and Family • October 2021 love, life and little ones Ms. Lydia Lydia has a degree in Developmental Psychology and was a preschool owner/ director/teacher for 25 years. She is the mother of two adult sons. My Child is Afraid of HALLOWEEN Get him involved in making an easy costume. I love Halloween! I grew up with my mom making my costumes and our whole neighborhood got into the spirit with their decorations and it was so much fun! Now I am a 34-year-old mother to a 4-year-old son who is absolutely terrified of everything…especially Halloween! How can I help him overcome his fears and enjoy the holiday like I did as a child? Thanks! Elaine C., Falmouth Dear Elaine- Halloween can be such a fun holiday, but it also can be terrifying! I also grew up in a family that embraced the fun parts of Halloween, trick or treating, making costumes, Halloween carnivals, pumpkin carving, and all the non-scary parts of the day. But in today's world, it is hard to shelter your child from the blood and the guts that have become commonplace in the celebration of Halloween. Hopefully, I can offer you a few ideas about how to make this fun day more tolerable for your son. HAVE REASONABLE EXPECTATIONS. Although you love Halloween, your son does not, and you must accept this. Tone down the celebration and focus on the fun. ACKNOWLEDGE HIS FEELINGS. He needs to know that it is OK to be scared of scary things. By labeling his emotions, he can better understand how he is feeling. You can explain that Halloween is a holiday where people dress up to be scary and they enjoy it, but it is ok that he does not enjoy it! DE-MYSTIFY HALLOWEEN by showing him a mask and start with him putting it on and taking it off in a mirror. Then you put it on and take it off so that he understands it is pretend. Any Halloween decorations that light up or make noise, show him the on and off switch, so once again he can see that it is pretend, and he can control it. DO NOT AVOID EVERYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH HALLOWEEN. This is unrealistic and an unhealthy coping strategy. Your family will see Halloween decorations everywhere, from the grocery store to your neighbor's lawn, so trying to shelter him from all of it is just not a realistic option. By giving him the words to acknowledge his feelings and by de-mystifying Halloween, he can work through his fear.