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www.FredericksburgParent.NET 33 Examples of Positive Peer Pressure Friends who make healthy choices for them- selves may encourage our kids to do the same. Whether it is studying for a test, joining a club after school, or choosing not to smoke or drink, certain friends can provide this much needed positive peer pressure. Here are some addi- tional examples of how positive friends can be a good influence on our kids. · FITNESS HABITS Staying active is important to our chil- dren's physical health and emotional well-being. When kids sit around all day inactive, they can struggle in a variety of ways from health issues like elevated sugar levels to depression. A friend who prioritizes fitness can be a positive influence on our kids, inviting them to go for a bike ride, take a fitness class together or play a game of ball. Friends who encourage others to join or try out for a team sport can be valuable. Not only do team sports help our kids stay fit, but they also help build camaraderie and a healthy social outlet. · COMMUNITY SERVICE When we serve others in the community, it can improve our own happiness. Many schools now encourage or require students to commit to a certain number of community service hours, which has spurred many creative kindness projects. Some kids have started their own charities and engaged friends and family in helping others. This type of friend can be a huge influence on our kids to get more involved in volunteering. If they see others taking part in a volunteer project, it may inspire them to join in and give back, too. · ENDING GOSSIP Gossip can get out of hand, especially as kids get older in middle school and high school. Spreading hurtful informa- tion about others can make their lives miserable and cause a great deal of pain. It is extremely easy for our kids to spread gossip without stopping to think about the consequences for the person being bad-mouthed. If our kids spend time with friends who focus on more important and interesting topics other than gossip, that is a huge win for everyone. That type of friend is the perfect example of someone exempli- fying positive peer pressure. Scientific research from the world of positive psychology indicates that one of the most critical components of happiness is the rela- tionships we have with others. Happiness experts Ed Diener and Martin Seligman compared the happiest to the least happy people. Their research found that the hap- piest individuals were highly social and had the strongest relationships. Actually, good social relationships were necessary for peo- ple to feel happy. Additionally, research led by Robert Waldinger at Harvard University that followed the lives of people for more than 75 years concluded that relationships are the key to a happier life. The happi- est and healthiest participants in the study maintained close, intimate relationships. According to Waldinger, the people who tend to be more isolated than they want to be from others are less happy, their health declines earlier, and they live shorter lives than people who are connected to others. It is not about how many friends we have, but the quality and stability of those relationships throughout our lives that really matters. On the other hand, depression is one of the most common mental health issues in the United States. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, two out of 100 young children and eight out of 100 teens may have serious depres- sion, causing them to feel discouraged, sad, hopeless, unmotivated, or disinterested in life. One of the best ways for our children to overcome feeling blue is to spend time with their friends. Because of positive peer pressure, a caring, upbeat friend can help improve their mood. In a recent study, scientists found that happy friends can help teenagers beat depression. Feedback from 2,000 American high school students was analyzed to investigate whether the moods of students influenced one another and if this could impact levels of depression among teens. They found that depression does not spread among peers, but a healthy mood (not feeling depressed) actually does. By surrounding themselves with friends—especially happy ones—teens can significantly reduce their risk of developing depression and improve their ability to recover from it. In addition, positive friendships were much more effective than using antidepressants. Children look to imitate their peers from an early age. Studies show that happiness is contagious, so we can hope that our children surround themselves with cheerful friends. A Harvard Medical School study found that one person›s happiness spreads through their social group even up to three degrees of separation, and that this effect can last as long as a year. They actually determined that having a happy friend can improve our likelihood of being happy by 15%. It is critical that we pay attention to the type of friends our children are attracted to. If there are any red flags, we can redirect them to more positive choices—friends they can look up to and who inspire them to become the best person they can be. We can also instill the importance of building positive relationships by doing the same in our own lives. Our children are watching how we interact with our spouse, friends, neigh- bors, and colleagues and will mimic our behavior. If they see us arguing all the time with others, this could impact how they interact with their own friends. Finally, we can build a positive community for our children from a young age by participating in group activities such as playdates, team sports, community service projects, neighborhood gatherings, and other relationship-building events. Why Positive Friends Are Good for Our Children's Well-Being What This Means for Parents