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Help them use feeling words about the impact of broken promises.
We have to show a clear link with our actions at the everyday level and our values
to help our children connect the dots for themselves. What we say should line up with
what we do. It defines our character and is important to feeling good about ourselves;
the old "actions speak louder than words" expression.
If you'd like, this initial conversation can further segue into a conversation about trust:
"We have to trust that when we say something to
one another, we're being true to your word. When
I say something to you, I want you to trust me
too. I value trust in our relationship."
Share how values impact our routine actions and help others see
who we are.
This is an important first step to talking about trust in your family dynamic.
Ask the children what things they do every day. You can write them down on a piece of
paper. The list might look like this:
· "I brush my teeth."
· "I walk the dog."
· "I feed the cat."
You can follow through the day with their actions and then talk to them about how their
values impact those actions. The discussion that follows should revolve around why
those things are important.
· "I brush my teeth because I value my health and my ability to care for myself."
· "I walk, or feed, the dog because I value his comfort, and I know it's one of my
responsibilities as a member of the family."
Now ask: "What changes if you tell me you brush your
teeth but you actually don't?"
Let the conversation play out with them in a guiding way. You can also flip it and ask:
"What if I tell you I'm going to do something
and I don't."
Read the complete Values series at www.fredericksburgparent.net
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