Fredericksburg Parent

14 Fredericksburg Parent and Family • October 2020 What Politics Can Teach Our Kids WRITTEN BY CHRISTA MELNYK HINES From yelling newsroom pundits and vigorous dinner party debates to divisive Facebook exchanges, s' the season when there's virtually no escape from poli cs. Your kids may come home with ques ons about opinions overheard at school or elsewhere. From a paren ng perspec ve, the democra c process—and poli cal shenanigans— provides plenty of fodder for teaching kids lessons in independent thinking, respec ul discourse, values and civics. Nurture independent thinkers Take advantage of the poli cal process to help your children learn to think for themselves. Ask your children open-ended ques ons to hear their point of views. "Find out what they're thinking. What you want to do is s mulate their analy c, natural human curiosity," says Dr. Fran Walfi sh, a child and family psychotherapist and author of "The Self Aware Parent: Resolving Confl ict and Building a Be er Bond with Your Child." Watch the speeches and debates together Ask your child who they think is telling the truth based on body lan- guage or who seems more respec ul during a debate. Whether you agree or not, ask them: "Why do you feel that way? How would you solve the problem?" Share your opinions with your children by prefacing your comments with "I feel" or "I think" and ask ques ons like: "I wonder how they'll make that happen? What do you think? How would you make it fair if you were in charge?" Avoid anger As hard as it may be, try to refrain from making judgmental comments or calling candidates with whom you disagree colorful names. "Shou ng at the TV, or at one another, presents a very nega ve exam- ple of responding to confl ic ng opinions," says Mary Jane McKi rick, author of the Boomer and Halley children's series (wri en for ages 4 to 8), including the Mom's Choice award-winning book "Boomer and Halley: Elec on Day." Through humor and embedded life lessons, McKi rick's books tell stories of families and communi es resolving diffi cult challenges by working together. Model respectful dialogue Not all parents agree on poli cs, but what ma ers is how they discuss the issues in front of their children without raising a child's anxiety. Make ground rules with your spouse before engaging in the discussion: No interrup ng, take turns listening and no put-downs, insults or blam- ing. And, if you come to an impasse, agree to disagree. "I would love for parents to respect each others point of views. I would also hope that they will respect their children's point of view," Walfi sh says. "Be able to tolerate diff erences. We s ll love each other, and I can tolerate you having powerfully diff erent feelings than mine." If you fi nd yourself ge ng drawn into a heated argument around the table with loved ones, keep your cool and suggest you pick up the con- versa on at another me.

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