Fredericksburg Parent

www.FredericksburgParent.NET 13 As we seek to better understand one another as Americans of different ethnicities, one of the easiest ways to teach our families is through entertainment. Movies and books present an easy way to visually illustrate the story of Black and white Americans. Each of the movies and books below highlight Black characters and their encounters racial issues, white characters who chose to see character over color, young people who persevered against all odds to break down barriers. Each of these allow for great family conversations about fair and equal treatment, the progress we've experienced as a nation, and where we need to go in our pursuit of unity and under- standing the differences we possess that make us better together. We might wonder whether confronting a relative's beliefs will make a difference. And well- intentioned parents who aspire to the "colorblind" ideal may squirm at the thought of bring- ing their child's attention to racial oppression. These concerns are real, but they're no reason not to act, says Orchid Fowler, a teacher at Chavitos Spanish-immersion nature school in Tacoma who spent her undergraduate years teaching anti-racism in Boston schools. Raising children who champion equity means coun- tering racist beliefs within family systems, despite the difficulty. "We know that racism is handed down to children over time, through family members who view the world through the lens of racism," she says. Recognizing and fighting racism, and raising children who do the same, means resisting any urge we might feel to keep quiet. she says. "You're shifting the ignorance that is passed down through our parents." But that doesn't mean you should respond with hostility, or even necessarily respond immedi- ately, she notes. Thinking about your response as two or more separate conversations can help. "As educators we take the stance that children don't perceive things in the same way adults do," she says. "Around third grade and younger, you might address it later with your child by saying the comment was hurtful and that words matter. Then, with the relative, you can explain how you're having a conversation at home about racism and this is what you're learning, then ask them for their perspective. Later, after fourth grade or so, children can understand systemic racism and are ready for deeper conversation. What happens when you've respectfully requested that your relative stop making these comments in front of your children, and they don't? Parents should keep in mind that they get to choose who their children spend time with, Natkin says. "If I had parents or grandparents who continue to use language or act in ways that don't align with our values, I'd tell them that I was concerned." Parents can choose to set boundaries with relatives who can't shift their behavior, she notes. Even with very young children, talking about why a relative's comment was hurtful is impor- tant, says Natkin. "Not understanding isn't the same as not noticing. Younger kids do notice and store these things away." Confronting racist language means having difficult conversations with relatives, but those conversations can be opportunities for connection, learning, and growth. "I think we only have influence through connection," says Natkin. "Shocking or shaming our relative may seem to work in the short-term, but what about the long term?" "I do my best to model compassion, and meet people where they are," says Jennifer Dumlao of Tacoma. "I'm not going to educate my relative on white fragility when he doesn't under- stand how using stereotypes is racist". "I used to never say anything, but having a kid has made me stronger," she says. "I'm trying my best to speak up." Even with very young children, talking about why a relative's comment was hurtful is important... 13th. Riveting documentary about the racial injustices and inequities facing Black Americans that beg for reform. Selma. Drama about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's historic march through Selma, Alabama. Brian's Song. Touching story of Brian Piccolo and Gayle Sayers and the brotherly bond between the two Chicago Bears football players despite their racial differences. "Let the child witness you standing up for a person of color or people with a different background tells them that as an adult and parent, you don't stand for oppression," � RESOURCES � Books and Films to Help All Parents Teach Children About Race and Race Relations � FILMS � continued on page 15

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