Fredericksburg Parent

February 2013

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When to Introduce Your Child to Your New Beau by keisha m. green A s a single parent, you are always rethinking everything you do and second-guessing every decision that you make to ensure you're not acting prematurely on anything; especially when it comes to the well-being of your children. Not at all a surprise, single parents have very different views on subject matters pertaining to parenting; at the top of that list would be when it's appropriate to expose your children to a "new beau." Have you ever found yourself stressing over when your new beau should meet the kids? You feel the relationship could be going somewhere and you want nothing more than for the kids to like them as much as you do. Sounds familiar, huh? Of course it does; we've all been there. You feel this new person in your life is just great, but you worry that it's too soon, or that the kids will become too attached. Research has shown that a child's attachment in relationships can have a profound effect on their immediate and longterm development. According to an article written by Donna Wittmer, Center on the Social and Emotional 18 Fredericksburg Parent and Family • February 2013 Foundations for Early Learning, when children feel secure or insecure in their relationships, there are lasting effects which can even impact how they will parent when they are older. So, being extra cautious in making decisions, such as when to introduce your children to a new relationship, is worth all the consideration that it's given. So, when do you make the first introduction? A recent article provided by Spotsylvania Medical Center titled "When Single Parents Have Overnight Guests," suggests taking it slowly when introducing a new relationship into the lives of your children. Every child is different and every situation is diverse. Remember, your decision to take this next step could be devastating for the kids, especially if there was a relatively recent seperation of a prior relationship, so it's okay to take your time. You don't want to cultivate some formula as to when you should introduce your children to a new relationship based on how long you think it should take them. Let it happen naturally.

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