I really try to stay optimistic when I write, because my naturally tendency is to be negative about myself (especially when it comes to my weight). However, in an effort to give you a true picture of my life, you need to know it's not all “rainbows and unicorns”. For the past three weeks the scale has been stuck. It would drop 2 tenths of a pound, then it would come right back. I tried to remain calm, knowing this day would come. But darn it! It is too soon to stop! I still have 36 pounds to lose to reach the doctor's goal. My expectation was that the last 20 pounds would be work, but I really thought I had a few more months until I hit that point. There was also a haunting message I received a few weeks back that said, “It's great that you've lost so much weight, but what happens when you start eating real food?” I was eating real food, and I had plateaued.
It is hard when everyone knows how and why you are losing weight. I felt like I can't complain that I haven't lost enough. The initial thoughts that run through my head usually stink (“You are never going to get rid of that roll around your belly”, “Your thighs look like an elephant's with those sags at your knees”, “You still look FAT!”) Then I counteract with the positive self talk. (“Geez, Michelle! How much is enough? You weigh less that you did when you got married and you are wearing a size you haven't worn since you were in college! Your husband compliments you on your appearance daily. Ann didn't even recognize you at exercise class yesterday, because you are so thin.”) And there it goes, an internal battle in my head (and heart) daily.
I finally got so desperate with my plateau last week that I sent a message to my weight loss surgery support group from my food journal app. They gave me some great advice about lowering my carbohydrates and increasing my water, which has helped (I've dropped three pounds since making these changes). I also have started increasing my exercise intensity, moving from the treadmill to the elliptical machine and some high impact at exercise class instead of just low impact the whole time. I meet my medical team this week for my three month check-up. They always give me an emotional pick-me-up, so I'm looking forward to that. And I also look forward to learning more tips from them about what I can do better to keep the weight coming off!