A Gay BFF, Everyone Should Have One!

January 11, 2014

On a recent Saturday afternoon I was putzing around my kitchen, working on a cake for a family member. IMG 8038 But with the kids out of the house on a bowling play date, I was antsy to try some different baking techniques and take a break from my birthday cake.  Perfect timing, since my friend Danny called and stopped by for a few minutes.  He has always been a baking buddy of sorts.  Christmas cookies were a standing date for us before I ever got paid for baking anything.  When he comes over, it’s a party in the kitchen…we blare music and sing out loud.  It’s no wonder then that my kids call him “crazy Uncle Danny.”  So… on this past Saturday afternoon, as we experimented some new ways to build cupcake bouquets, I thought about how much this friendship has developed over the years.

We became friends in high school and we love to reminisce about those days.  He was the popular boy thatIMG 2174 everyone liked.  There was not much to dislike about him…especially not for me since he was pretty much my male equivalent :).  Yep, he's my gay BFF or gay husband as some might term it!  As the years fly by, we laugh about high school memories, the beach, the parties…Danny and I were never big into drinking so we really could appreciate the folly of others without partaking ourselves.    We love to eat and cook…too much unfortunately. We went to Weight Watchers together once, his birthday gift to me (seriously!) and we BOTH GAINED WEIGHT after three meetings!!  We laughed about it.  We love to go to yard sales (it drives my husband insane.  He detests looking at other people’s “junk” as he calls it). Thank goodness I have Danny, we enjoy it…you know, other people’s junk!   We laugh at Kathy Griffin together, we love to travel, we love our friend Yvonne who completes our BFF trio and we make time to get together as often as we can...a standing dinner date on every possible Wednesday night.  It’s only as an adult that I realize the rarity and depth of this friendship.

When my son went through his recent torturous Kindergarten transition (http://bit.ly/184ah4r), my friend Danny went to have lunch with him at school one day with a milkshake and fries in hand.  It completely made Rishi’s day to see him and he talked about the special visit with Uncle Danny for days.    

danandscottwithrishiWhile I was recently in India (http://bit.ly/HYQYxZ), Ashoka took the kids to their favorite dinner spot…I don’t want to admit it and yes, we are all vegetarian (except my husband) but okay, it’s the Outback.  The kids love it.   ANYWAY, he invited Danny to join them knowing it would make it easier to have another adult along.  At dinner, Rishi asked Danny, “Do you have a wife?”  Danny responded, “No, I have a boyfriend, Uncle Scott.”  “Oh…okay”, was Rishi’s response and he went back to eating his Mac and cheese.  He will never think of being gay as anything but completely normal given Uncle Danny’s presence in our lives.  I am grateful for the open-minded innocence of children and the fact that my children will never think it’s against the norm to be in any relationship as long as it’s loving and happy. 

Rishi can grasp the concept of a nuclear family; Reeya is still working on it.  Recently, she was putting up a Christmas ornament when she exclaimed about how cool it was, I told her Uncle Scott got that from Qatar.  “Oh yes,” she responded, “Uncle Danny’s brother.”  Well I didn’t take the parental time I should have to explain the relationship, even though it was a teachable moment.  I’ll get there once she grasps the definition of a nuclear family…a definition is evolving.   Right now, they just love their “crazy” Uncle Danny, reeyathebuilderas they call him, and so do I! 

 

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